The Most Beautiful Nightmare You'll Never Have…
Lifestyle Domme & Mistress

Topping from the bottom

13 April 2015


I never knowingly “top from the bottom”. That does not mean to say I will not do it unintentionally. Intent or not, it is still wrong and inappropriate.

I try to avoid terms like want, desire, happiness or pleasure when referring to myself. I try to replace them with words like achieve or fulfilment. That is not to say the slave does not have wants or desires and sometimes it is hard to avoid those terms and they are, in any case, not always inappropriate. After all, is it wrong to say “I want to please my Mistress”?  Of course not.

The distinction is very much part of the dynamic. The dom/domme gets pleasure from power. They command and demand and should be obeyed. That is an essential part of the relationship. There are those who imply that should those demands provide real vanilla benefits they exceed some self imposed limit. These people use words like exploitation whenever “real” benefits are derived from “real” sacrifices by the submissive or slave. Effectively this extreme view recognises any D/s dynamic merely as a game or play. In such games and play “topping from the bottom” is ostensively frowned upon but in reality acknowledged. The object of the game is, after all, the pleasure of all parties. I do not decry those who share this view and play their games, as long as they, in turn, do not condemn those who do not share that view and desire a D/s dynamic involving real benefits and genuine sacrifices.

I am certain my Mistress appreciates the vanilla fruits of her domination in the same way as any individual. She enjoys receiving her gifts and she benefits from my servitude as I drive her to a destination.  I am just as certain that during such a journey she may occasionally recognise the sexually imposed power dynamic that has resulted in my obedience and as such be aroused. It is essential to specify that my Mistress is, in no way, aroused by me. In fact she is revolted by my hideous and ugly appearance, my age and the very weakness that makes me her slave as opposed to a real man. It is her power, the ability to control me and make me suffer that arouses her.

In a similar way, during such a journey I will also concentrate on the demands of the task but will, perhaps more often than her, become aroused by my sense of sexually induced servitude. My arousal is, unlike hers, also enhanced by her stunning beauty and persona.

This is a Lifestyle dynamic, real and not role play. The Mistress enjoys owning slaves. We have the capacity to please her. Nonetheless she despises and scorns us for the very weakness that gives her that power over us. She treats us with disdain. In any normal circumstance an individual would walk away from the painful manifestation of contempt from someone they revered and respected. This is not a normal circumstance. The slave is effectively cajoled into becoming an emotional masochist. Instead of walking away from the pain induced by the derision and ridicule bestowed by their Mistress it simply serves to enhance their servitude and loyalty. A reaction which merely enforces the contempt felt by the Mistress. It is this cruel crucible that sexually arouses both parties in their different ways.

The Female domme, male slave lifestyle is not unique to my Mistress and her slaves. The internet provides a wealth of information with regard similar dynamics. It is through these that we become aware of physical and mental aspects commonly applied and experienced. We, as individuals, will certainly fantasise about our participation in these aspects of D/s. It is to be expected that individuals will invariably have aspects that they particularly enjoy and they know will arouse them more than others. It is an essential requirement of this dynamic however that the slave puts obedience to his Mistress and the meeting of her desires above anything else. Her desires and her preferences will be met. The desires and preferences of the slave are of no consequence.

That is not to say that the preferences and desires of a slave do not exist. Those desires will have played a part in his enslavement. He may have imagined them being fulfilled during servitude to his Mistress. They were effectively mere bait played in his own imagination leading to his entrapment and his willing passage into slavery. However, it may be that none of the specific desires of the slave are ever fulfilled. As he fully embraces his slavery, he accepts that and all previous personal desires are replaced by the sole wish to please and serve his Mistress.

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