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The Most Beautiful Nightmare You'll Never Have…
Lifestyle Domme & Mistress

Letters from Mistress: Fantasies, limits, sadism & smoke

slave,

letters from mistress cara sutraNo, I don’t feel I am blurring our dynamic with fantasy, but that your fantasies and my fantasies will naturally out in the actions and decisions we take therefore they are always an integral aspect of my ownership of you. If you didn’t have any fantasies you would not have identified as submissive, you would not have been motivated to contact me, I would not have ongoing hold over you, etc etc. It is when you cannot distinguish between what will forever remain fantasy and what is potentially able to happen in reality than any problems occur. I don’t foresee any problems, neither of us are 18 year old fools (well I’m not a fool at all) and various experiences as well as intelligence hopefully combine to make for a realistic moving forwards of this M/s state.

It is within my remit and also my ‘job’ as your Owner to test your limits. If I didn’t you would not have realised that you would now consent to being fucked by a man or fuck a male slave. You would not consider the many things that you consider, that you struggle to come up with in order to please me more. You wouldn’t try so hard. You wouldn’t be a good slave. I also need to make sure that you’re giving me everything you can give me. Absolutely everything that’s possible. Limits often change for submissives once they are actively serving. I will never make you do anything that I feel would be harmful to you, in the long term. I will never make you do anything which will be irrevocably detrimental to your life or to those who rely on you. I cannot promise that I won’t make you consider those options and I cannot promise that it won’t at times feel like what I have just confirmed is a lie, that in fact I do want to harm you, those who rely on you, and to hurt you. Making you think certain things is different from doing said things. It’s called a mind-fuck.

I do not lie to my slaves. Ever. I will not lie even to mind-fuck you. Anything you think you glean from my words you will find is your own imaginings, your own tortured mind interpreting things that way, not what I have actually said.

I’m a cruel Mistress, that’s why you have given yourself to me, why you are attracted to me, why you love me.

Regarding sadists/masochists, I have often thought similar. I don’t believe that BDSM ‘sadists’ are sadists in the vanilla sense of the word – or at least they shouldn’t be. If you want to inflict pain or harm on others with or without consent you shouldn’t be in the scene. If someone doesn’t get some kind of fulfilment out of the pain then why would they consent? They are always linked. What you get might not be strictly pleasure, it may not always be enjoyment – but it is always fulfilment. When I push your limits, when I verbally humiliate you, when I bully you, when I make you feel miniscule, when I frighten you, when I exhilarate you simply with my Dominant presence, I am fulfilling what you need. It’s actually a very kind thing. Even when you’re crying and feeling broken and hating me and wondering why the fuck you think you’re submissive and a slave and how you’re allowing someone half your age to treat you like this and how I can make you feel like this when no one else can or has ever been able to.

Therefore my answer is: I get more pleasure from the way I naturally extract my pleasure. If I didn’t get as much pleasure as I could, I would change – I would dismiss you or I would change so I did get more pleasure. As it is, I get pleasure because I know that your needs are being fulfilled, because I trust that you will safe out if required, because I am the culmination of your fantasies, and because all of the above gives me 100% freedom to exact the terrifying, brutal, disgusting, humiliating or other punishments or actions on you that I enjoy giving. I enjoy manipulating you, mentally and physically controlling you and the fact that you feel you have no choice but to obey – and that you want to make me happy.

In the exact situation you mentioned, I would get more pleasure if you didn’t get pleasure out of cock. What’s the point in me being there, directing it, if I am merely audience to a gay or bi exhibitionist? This is why I don’t accept sissy maids or cross dressers. It’s not about me it’s about them; they want someone to come along and tend to THEM, to dress THEM up, to tell THEM how pretty, disgusting, used, cheap, slutty etc THEY are. Nothing to do with me. I’m merely a mouthpiece for their fantasy. What we have is only in part about your fantasy – and that part is how I can use your fantasies to MY advantage, how they fit into MY fantasies and make ME happy, fulfilled and aroused. The power of making you suck cock or take cock against your previous ‘will’ or desire is exhilarating beyond description, to know that the ONLY reason you’re doing it is to obey my command and to thrill me is incredibly arousing and pleasing.

If you liked the cock in any way it would shift the focus from me to what you’re getting from it (other than pleasing me) and I wouldn’t enjoy that so much. I want you to suffer pain despite hating it. I want you to have to constantly question why you’re doing this and why you’re agreeing to suffer, only for the answer ALWAYS to be to please my Mistress, because it makes Her happy, because it makes Her cunt wet. In fact you should recite that/similar every morning and evening as a mantra. 

With regards to the fantasy about you being forced to fuck a female enemy – as a fantasy, not too mean at all. I’ve heard many fantasies through the years: slaves being made to sleep in baths of other men’s cum, being strapped to crosses being milked through prostate massage and fed their own cum through a tube hooked to their mouth, being in bondage and other men’s cum pumped into their stomachs, being used as breeding material, female subs being chained up in breeding mills, Nazi concentration camp style interrogation with burning pitch and rusty implements and amputations, forced sex with animals… I will stop there. I want to know your most perverse fantasies. What your mind conjures and where it goes on this journey. I have reasons.

I hate cigarette smoke too. And pipes and cigars. I can’t smoke anything at all – even when friends have offered other smokable substances I just get violently ill, which is a shame, as it’s such a comparatively cheap enjoyment. I have always had expensive tastes… 

In the past I have offered to smoke cigarettes in a scene, when I was Pro. I did on a couple of occasions but it wasn’t me, I hated it, I hated myself for doing it. Another reason I’m not Pro. This is all about me (even the bits that are about you) not about the submissive’s fantasy being brought to life despite what I want, what I’m into and what I deserve.

I’m going to order myself some more wine.

 

Mistress Cara

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