The Most Beautiful Nightmare You'll Never Have…
Lifestyle Domme & Mistress

An introduction to my new slave, penny

mistress-cara-march-15You may have heard me mention my new slave recently, whether on Twitter or on my more mainstream sexuality blog. I wanted a proper introduction, so I asked penny to write one. Here are his words about how we met and how he came to be my newest slave.

– Mistress Cara

slave penny

I’m an elderly professional male. My CV can be made to look impressive. On the outside I can be charming and humble but on the inside my self confidence verges, or at least verged, on arrogance. I am submissive sexually and I’m a submissive who prefers to serve than merely to session. I have been a slave before but the last time was many years ago. During those periods of slavery I had been genuinely humble and servile towards my Owners but retained my self confidence and exaggerated ego in every other aspect of my life. It always seemed appropriate. Surely the enslavement of someone like myself, someone who others looked up to, enhanced the reputation and credibility of my Owner.

In this internet age it would be so easy to recount how dramatically my life has changed in the last 3 months by following the trail of email and WhatsApp messages. Should I have done that, I feel that a mere sequence of facts and words would never really portray the emotional, mental and physical processes that transpired.

I’d been on Fetlife and Informed Consent before that, for some years. Apart from having dinner with a very pleasant dominant female from the West Midlands I had never met or conversed with anyone as a result of those forums. It had been many years since I was last a slave. I was now much older and my priorities were having to change. I was resigned to never being a slave again and I was content with that. I could create unbelievable fantasies in my mind and was still quite capable of arousal and masturbation.

To what extent my pending heart operation may have effected my decision I can’t say. I came across a Fetlife profile for a Mistress Cara Sutra. She was palpably different from other Mistresses. Many Mistresses describe themselves as lifestyle but it is a far easier label to wear than to practice. Of course, like many labels in the “scene” there is no right and wrong because we all have our own definition. It was clear this Mistress was definitely lifestyle by my definition. The fact that she actually obtained pleasure, sexual pleasure, from domination, was very clear. In all my previous D/s relationships I had never been convinced that my Owners were actually sexually aroused by the dynamic and their motivation was elsewhere. This Mistress was indeed very different.

She had a massive internet presence. Her Mistress persona was a comparatively small percentage of her web site and social media existence, although her femdom interests were often referred to in her other guises. I was able to glean so much about her from the internet. The way she looked, talked, moved as well as her many talents and strengths. I was hooked and had to email her.

My initial email was direct from her Mistress website and I also sent her a couple of small gifts from her  Amazon “wish list”. I have to say that I was not sure whether to order those gifts. It wasn’t something I would ordinarily do, although I would imagine the last time I’d approached a potential Mistress there was no such thing as a “wish list”. In fact Amazon would have been in its infancy.   That decision proved very fortunate. A fault with her website meant my email was not received and this was made apparent when she queried who had sent the gifts on her Twitter account. The email failure was established and at her request I re-sent the email directly.  Had I not sent those gifts I would  merely assumed that she’d ignored my email and under those circumstances I would have left it at that. Sending those gifts proved very fateful.

Our initial email exchanges confirmed the uniqueness of the Mistress. Her probing questions were thought provoking. She asked me to consider my weaknesses, limits and fears. I also recounted events in my youth that epitomized my submissive tendencies. She homed in on things I conveyed and analysed them in detail. Her conclusions were astounding. She exposed truths about me and my inner self that were undoubtedly authentic and correct, but I had hidden from myself. She seemed to know me better than I knew myself.

Within just a few days of my first tentative email I was gripped by her. The thought of not being her slave was intolerable and I was anxious to please.

Just short of one month since I had resent that first email, something I foolishly said on Twitter angered her. It was not malicious. I would never do anything to purposely displease her, but she was angry and I was desperate to rectify my foolishness. I could not bear the thought of being rejected by her. “Had I ever been in Chastity, if not it was about time I was”. I followed the commands she spat out in her anger.

The CB6000 was ordered on-line immediately and her instructions with regard my actions once it was received were acknowledged. She conceded that my circumstances meant that the device could only be secured by the pre-numbered plastic tabs although her disappointment was very discernible. My desire to please her was so intense and I was aware that my living arrangements might make being secured by the metal padlock and keys feasible. Throughout that night I considered the risks, but these were nothing compared to pleasing her. The following morning I was committed. I already had the “special delivery” envelope labelled and ready. The device arrived and it was attached and secured. This comparatively simple task took a little time (about 45 minutes) because my balls have a tendency to hide and they were being particularly awkward that day.

I felt that the slightest hesitation would test my courage and was so determined to please her. The envelope containing the keys was behind the post office counter less than 10 minutes after the device was secure. Effectively the keys were now hers and I was hers.

At that time I believed that I was to be caged for a few days, maybe two weeks. However time slipped by. There were times the torment was unbearable especially in the middle of the night. The night times are when I am submerged in fantasies and my adoration of my Mistress.

My professional skills were utilised by her and her partner during that period. Its significance and relevance was put into perspective. It was boring and petty. It involved money, but the significance of my value was reflected in the name given to me, penny.

I met with her twice during the first month in which I was in chastity. Those meetings confirmed to me that she was not just a special Mistress but a wonderful woman. A woman who warrants the utmost respect. Intelligent, talented and caring to those deserving that care and love. That however, certainly did not include her slaves.

She also had the capacity and desire to treat her slaves with cruelty and took pleasure from being evil. She has taught me the true meaning of slavery. I am not allowed to merely accept my weaknesses, inadequacies and those things I am denied. I must learn to absorb myself in those sacrifices and failings so that I suffer and hurt. The internal sense of self worth that previous Mistresses have effectively encouraged me to retain have been stripped away by her. My ego, pride and dignity have painfully been stripped away and I embrace the true inadequacies that make me a slave.

She has part moulded me to her specifications. There is certainly more moulding to be done.

After over 4 weeks she provided me with the keys to release myself.  The grip she had established in that period left me desperate to be recaged. After cleaning and allowing sore to heal I willingly followed her command to relock and return the keys to her.

I am hers. I am her slave penny.

– slave penny

  1. Nice introduction, well written Penny. i am so happy for you. and thank you to Mistress Cara for sharing this personal words with us.

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