The Most Beautiful Nightmare You'll Never Have…
Lifestyle Domme & Mistress

Why you can’t pay for My Domination

For short periods of time throughout my life as a Mistress I have requested payment in exchange for My time and talents Dominating submissives. Domination and FemDom in particular are valuable skills, much lusted after and rarely found to be genuine and worthy.

However I have found that instead of hoping to combine My desire to pay the bills with My natural love of Domination and male submission, a better way for Me is to continue My freelance writing work from home and listen to My heart’s demands. That I am a Lifestyle Mistress.

This is, in part, due to the fact that submissives who pay per hour, per session or per activity seem to mistakenly think they hold some power over the Mistress involved. That they have some right to demand certain activities, certain attitudes or the ways in which the Mistress will act. Attitudes of the submissives themselves has always ranged from reluctant to downright obnoxious, through pro-Domination. I have had abuse and harassment hurled at Me and those who can see the clear desire for Me to enjoy My natural Dominant role as well as paying bills and being spoiled with gifts are few and far between.

So, no. You can’t pay for My Domination. I Dominate only those I choose, those I deem worthy enough to interact with, whether online or honoured enough to be in My presence. I always return to My heart’s true desire, and I am proud to be one of the world’s rarely found and under-valued, genuine Lifestyle Mistresses.

– Mistress Cara Sutra

  1. Wow! You really nailed it when you said “rarely found to be genuine and worthy.”

    It’s tough out there, for anyone who is into lifestyle BDSM, but perhaps doubly so for dominant women and submissive men.

    There are so many people out there with ulterior motives, on both sides of the whip.

    I really admire your decision to be purely lifestyle. The community needs more women like you.

    • Thanks Dirk – appreciate the comment and yeah, it is tough tbh. When you have a genuine desire – a need, even – to Dominate or submit, it’s difficult to wade through the millions of time wasting fantasists or those who just want an hour out of their ‘reality’ in order to scratch an itch then toss you to the side again. This isn’t fake or roleplay for me. It’s real. This is reality.

  2. Hello Mistress, may i humbly introduce myself. my name is nick (email is alias) and i am a pony boy. i am very interested in riding Mistresses and i hope this is an activity that you also enjoy. i have read that you are not prodomme and to be fair i haven’t got what i need from prodommes because they are often not fully focused on ‘riding’ their slaves and making them obey command.

    it would be great to hear from yourself, i am in west yorks so a trip to lincolnshire sounds perfectly ok if you commanded me to attend.
    best wishes


    • A Riding Mistress is a Mistress with horses. Real ones, lol. I think you’re after a Mistress into pony play. It’s different.

      I don’t have horses any more and I have no interest in sitting on your back either.

      • It’s so har d to leave you a message because you cant see what your typing because your reply form doesnt’ work proplery. Your ‘leave a reply to Mistress Cara Sutra sits over where you have to type….lol

        You really ought to do something about it if you want to succesfully advertise yourself on the internet.

        But then if you are not a riding mistress, a mistress who rides or even a Mistress, what are you advertising for ???

        Best Wishes

        • I don’t use this site much right now. I am not advertising for anything. I didn’t say I am not a Mistress? I am a Lifestyle Mistress, I have no need to advertise ‘wares’ or ‘services’ of the fetish kind. I have another site where I have a day job, with successful (and sold out) advertising, copywriting services, consultancy and more.

          With a live in slave and many other regular submissives, you’re surplus to requirements before you begin.You’d have to be pretty special to be accepted into my service… from your reply I can see that it’s not the case in this instance.

          Thanks for the heads up on the reply form, I will ask my tech team to fix it.

          Good luck trying to find a Mistress to accept you.

          Mistress Cara

          • Don’t believe a word of it…..

            you have the site to make you feel important….

            Don’t you ??? ;-)

          • lol, if it makes you feel better to believe that, go right ahead…

            The reason I am not here much is because I am working at


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